Monday, May 28, 2007

Randomly something..

Long time I havent posted anything.
Wanted to write about my 1 week Driving class, How my teacher expected me to get the control of the Steering, judge the Speed fluctuations by amount of pressure on the Gas Pedal(accelerator) and Brakes and Mainly how to take the Left turn in the Right way and How I frustrated him by not doing it correctly. I wanted to mention the specific turn which is a 120 degree turn which I managed to go wrong at every attempt and just missed to hit a car on this turn or climb the curb or just brake hard due to anxiety. I actually was in tears on a day when I got scolded badly for just missing to hit the car. Naah, he dint expect me to hit the car , but wanted me to make a safe turn.Now that tuen is called "Aparna turn" and the story is repeated to every person passing by it :-).
I also wanted to write about my happiness when I could drive till office without getting any instructions on the last day of the week. But never could put together the time and words for this.

Then I started off with my experiences with water after reaching here.. Being Always fascinated by water, I liked it here as well. The Wadsworh Falls , the Newport Beach , the Hudson river rafting.. Water in differnet form.. Each refreshing, each coming towards me.. I have no words for the experience..

2 months since in this country.. I dont feel much difference.. Looking at things and their working, its starkly different.. But underlying people, tendencies , working , feelings dont change.. I have been staying in Indian locality and also have American friends as well to give me insight into their lives.
What I see, is humans dont change much.. They stay the same, the upbringing matters a little , so does the society.. When it comes to reaction, we are humans and dont belong to any country..

This was not what i planned to write. I had planned to write a thought an an experience..
We three room-mates had gone out for a dinner last friday. They asked me a question " Tell us about yourself" A very simple question.. and I was dumb. I just couldnt think of a single sentence to say about myself. I was trying to put together something to say.. But I couldnt .. Finally what i blurted was " Who I am ? What I am ? is the eternal question .. 'Koa Hum' ( In Sanskrit) is the question is something that everyone is searching an answer. Ask me something specific that I can answer"
The topic ended there.. Probably they took it otherwise.. no idea..

The thought: It came up in a chat with a friend. He had watched a movie 'The Pursuit of Happiness' and I asked "Did you find it" That made me realise, Happiness is a pursuit till we kepe searching for it in others.. It simply stays inside us and we never look for it.
My inspiration for this was Shrek 3 - We always know what we are from inside. But we tend to beleive what others say . When we stop hearing others and Start believing in self we find The true Winner!

Is my thought and experience linked? Does it say that I dont know who I am , and I need to search myself? Does no harm finding what I am . So need to try!